some thinking...and decisions

Every year, in January you are pretty much expected to start a new, better life. I asked my brother if he was going to make any new year’s resolutions and he told me that by becoming a better person he would make himself a god so he does not really see the point. After all, even if being a god could be rather interesting, it would give him an unfair advantage in – well everything. As my self-esteem is far behind that of my brother’s I made several and they have all (except the one about my next marathon) been broken by now.

This morning my horoscope (it is a thing I read online and believe in when it promises me lots of love and money, which then doesn’t appear but still, makes me feel hopeful) told me that it is time to put my life in order. This is after I had realised that I still haven’t contacted my bank, even if I was supposed to do that before the holidays, that there is a pile of important papers I should go through on the table next to the front door, that I have an essay and presentation and another essay that should be done or should have been done and that I haven’t paid my rent and can’t find the account number to safe my life. So, I started to think that maybe my horoscope had a slight hint of truth to it today – just a slight.

The problem is that now when I realised how many things I have put off I got so overwhelmed that I don’t know where to start from. So I thought I’ll write a list. But then, if I write it I will most likely lose it, as my flat looks like it was hit by a hurricane and if I have it on my screen I will do my best to avoid my computer and thus will not be able to do the school work I am supposed to be doing.

As a result, I decided to revise my resolutions. The first one is definitely not to make promises I know I won’t keep. Secondly, there is no point in promising I keep on doing lots of sports. Sure, that is an easy one to keep, but really defeats the purpose of this resolution thing. As does “I will eat less chocolate”. In fact the second one posed some problems. Finally I decided that I will not let my life get into such a mess ever again, at least not this year, not only because it will take me at least a year to sort this one out and also because, it is just extremely frustrating to end up in the same situation again and again and again. AND if I manage to stick to this one, I won’t have to make any more resolutions again, because it would be really boring to be the only (ok, second) perfect person in the world.

And yes, I must go to the bank but I think I need to go for a run first.