in finland...

I spent my Christmas holiday, 100+ km north of the Arctic Circle and I no longer wonder, why certain people (like all Swedes and Russians) think that this northern nation is strange and better left on its own. Firstly, in how many places do you see men, drunk on milk (which they drink mixed with pisang ambon, vodka, kahlua etc) or possibly jägermeister and battery, singing “daa-dirlan-dirlan-daa” in karaoke when others dance “letkajenkka”? And secondly…well let me see.

In the Las Vegas of Finland everything and anything is allowed. And thus it is no surprise that after my relaxing break, I am sleep deprived and every single muscle in my body is hurting. In other words – it was excellent. Already on the first day I decided to forget about snowboarding and concentrate on other things, like trying to do 150km on country cross skis (yes, I know I am weird but I love it) and spending too much money on petrol and snowmobiles (I still firmly believe that the smell of two-stoke oil is the best in the world). And obviously on going out.

The line of live performances was pretty appalling. I didn’t know any one of them, surprisingly but luckily ear plugs were available from the DJ booth. Otherwise the music was, well, broad ranging – from Haddaway to Rammstein. Luckily people seemed to be dancing or swinging to the music playing in their heads rather than that coming from the speakers. Also, when they say that Finnish men don’t talk – it is true. I think the most exciting pick up line I heard was “are you taken?” at the end of one night (here they play one or two slow songs at the end, just before closing). “Well, I think…yes, I am. And, my car is calling for me, bye”.

My brother, though he is THE best, is in many ways a typical example of the Finnish male. He and his friend started their night at the bar. This does not mean getting a drink but rather leaning on the bar, thinking what they should be drinking and drinking thinking drinks while thinking. 6 hours later they were still pondering, and howling drunk, and going strong.

At first I was slightly sceptical about spending 14h in a car to go to the middle of nowhere but as, due to the strangest of the current weather, that was required just to see snow, I am now quite happy we did it. I am still not quite sure whether it is the overdose of fresh air, snow, sauna and good food or a random error in the gene pool that has created this taciturn nation, but one thing is for sure – the hardness in us is nothing but a mask.